February 18th

Hey there! :) I..hm..well what I'm feeling right now is hard to describe. I'm kinda depressed right now, but then again maybe not. I really don't know...all I know is that I've never felt this way in my life. I think today I set a record for the longest time I've gone without smiling. I don't know, I'm just...bleh...sad, and mopy, and...just don't feel like being happy, can't find anything to laugh about. What I guess a good way to describe what I'm feeling right now is that getting up everyday and being happy just for the people around you can ware you out! Take it from me :) I'm so worn out right now, don't get me wrong though, me being happy isn't fake, cause, I'm a truly happy bubbly person, but sometimes I just have to pretend to be happy to make everyone else happy. :) works pretty well for me! Although some people were concerned about me cause it seemed like I was/am to happy most of the time. But, in my world, there's no such thing as being "to happy" happiness is a gift...it's something that has to come natural to you...If you're happy all the time that must mean that there's nothing in life that bothers you. No, DUH, right??!! Hahahahah :) anyways, my point being ( I know, get to the point already, woman!! LOL) that I don't think I'm truly depressed because if I were, I wouldn't have this little spark of happiness and hope inside... ILY! have a goodnight, everyone

February 17th

Well, I'm tired of staying at home
I'm bored and all alone
I'm sick of wasting all my time

[Chorus (x2):]
You don't know how it feels
To be outside the crowd
You don't know what it's like
To be left out
And you don't know how it feels
To be your own best friend on the outside looking in

Jordan Pruitt - Outside Looking In

I love this song...I can relate to it so well...On my FB account I posted some of the lyrics to this song on my home page along with a comment of mine - its amazing how someone can have tons of friends, and still be the loneliest person in the world.