May 1st 2011

To all friends...
To many of you, I've been terrible. I've been mean at times, I'll admit. I've made mistakes. I've done a lot of things wrong... loosing your trust no doubt. I hurt you...and I'm sorry. You were one of the most important things in my life. Really - you got me through all the hard situations, and helped me become who I am today.

Last night I had a dream...dad was there. In his bed, hooked up to the IV just like the day I last saw him. He woke up, looked at me, held my hand...and he said "Live. No regrets...laugh. Love..." And he was gone.

So today I need to tell everyone. I love you all. Thanks for being there. Thanks for caring...thanks for loving me when I didn't deserve it. Thanks for telling me it was going to be ok. And thanks to the friends who got mad at me and told me to get out of the dirt and continue my life...from this day forward- I want to live, no regrets. I want to laugh. And most of all...I want to show Jesus' love.

April 26, 2011

I keep trying to write something here that I feel like I need to say but, I can't seem to press the enter key. So instead -

Hey! :)) Life's pretty good, I guess, going to California in a week (less actually) and I'm really excited about it. My grades are great, steadily going up. To be honest, I'm excited and scared at the same time about going into 9th grade : \ And I also really miss my 9th grade friends...
Weellll anyway gotta get back to homework so byers..

March 30, 2011

Haven't written in a while, but...I kinda felt the need to write tonight :) I made a post on face book talking about how I felt so blessed about everything I have. And I am...I admit, during May (of last year of course) I did feel sorry for myself...I was angry, depressed..confused. And I thought I had a reason to be. But through all the dark stuff, depression, confusion and anger, I never pushed that aside to see what I HAD right in front of me. A family, friends that care, both of which love me. I've realized that now. Just because I'm going through something hard doesn't give me an excuse to change who I really am. It doesn't give me an excuse to ignore those who care and love about me, and I'm sorry.
One of my very dear friends is going through a hard time right now. Cept it isn't something emotional, it's something that's physically hurting her. And she's being so...amazing about it. If I was going through what she was going through, I wouldn't have the courage or strength to keep my head up and act like nothing is wrong. I love her to pieces, and she inspires me, even though she's younger. She's a beautiful, amazing young woman that I'm also very thankful to know.
Alrighty. I'm off...I'm exhausted, and now that I've got that off my chest I feel much better :) I love all my friends, and all those who support me, especially my family. My mom is amazing. I look up to her in a lot of ways, even though she doesn't realize it. She's taken on so much in the past two years and hasn't had an emotional break down yet ;) I love her so much...so much.

God, Thank you for everything I have... <3

February 27 2011

I learned a pretty important lesson today..one of my friends told me "..you're average." Yes. I was a little hurt...It doesn't feel good to hear that kind of thing. But a voice inside said "Who cares what he thinks? Who cares what anyone thinks? He's not you!" I kinda smiled to myself then thought it really doesn't matter what other people thing. You don't need other peoples approval to make your way through the world. Because your opinion and thoughts are the only ones that truly matter. Just remember: you're a Kings kid. And if He says your beautiful...you are :)