Why do we dislike people that are different? Why do we laugh at cripples, people that can't hear, are blind, paralyzed are just aren't very smart? What about being different do we find so amusing? If someone has the privilege of being different, then why would you want them to change? Normal is boring...
Honestly though. I was reading a couple of emails from the people who read my blog and there was one by this girl that really got my wheels turning. In essence, she described herself and asked me what she should do after explaining her situation at school and such. She said (quote) "I am the weird girl with crazy curly hair, glasses, braces, and a not-so-clear face...I get teased a lot at school and my mother thinks I should straighten my hair, wear contacts, and wear makeup. Is she right?" No, dear :) No..You're beautiful the way you are and you shouldn't try to change yourself. Yes, represent yourself, look nice. But don't loose yourself. If you're going to change, do it for the right reasons.
The next time you see the boy or girl sitting by themselves at a table eating their lunch..go over there and talk to them. Reach out. Even though you didn't realize it, you may have saved a life, or dramatically changed one.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
January 6th 2011
Hey. I guess I could say I have a lot on my mind today. There's so much running through my mind. Do I honestly have a reason to feel...depressed? Any reason to feel like my life is unfair? Sure, I have a list of things I wish were different...such as wishing I was at a different school, wishing I had more time with family. Wishing everything was different. There are a lot of things I wish for. But the thing about wishes is that they don't come true..and they never will.
When I was smaller there was so much I used to believe in. I was sure there is a God. I was sure people went to heaven when they died. I was sure I was going to be a vet when I grew up. And I was sure that no matter what my dad would always be there. But here's the thing. You can't lay out your own life because anything is subject to change. Our lives are already set out for us by a higher being. We have the option to make choices but...there's a certain lack of freedom. Whether you're bound by financial issues, family issues, personal issues or if you're my age, you live under a roof with a mother (said in a loving manner) Point being...I thought I had my life figured out and I KNEW how it was going to go. But I didn't...no one does. No one ever will. You can't just predict the future. You can't plan your life based on what you "think" or want to happen. Life doesn't happen that way.
What about love? Sure, I thought I was a princess and I've been waiting for my "Prince Charming" not really as a love figure. But more as a best friend that I can rely on for anything. I have a lot of close friends. And don't get me wrong. I appreciate them so so much. But...there are some people where you just feel a connection. You feel close to them. You feel so happy you could cry...you would do anything for them. Well I'm still looking for that person. Maybe I just need to get out more, I don't know. Part of me wants to get out and see the world, meet new people. But the other part of me wants to stay home work on my art, practice my music and shut myself alone in my room. Yes. I am happy alone. I like being alone... Most people don't understand why, but I can't answer that for them. I'll put on a happy face and I'll be overjoyed at the time to see my friends. But unfortunately most times I'd rather be home. Dreaming or working. That's another thing about me - I love busy schedules :)I love feeling overwhelmed and the feeling of helplessness I get when I see my busy schedule...I have no idea why. I just do.
As I was saying: Friends. I switched classes so now I have a different group of friends. I thought I would fit in...I thought I would be well accepted. But...I'm just not. I don't know why. I'm the odd ball. I always have been. Sometimes I like it that way, sometimes I wish people would just accept me the way I am, and sometimes I wish people would just treat me normal. I'm not dumb, I'm not unintelligent. When you make fun of me and tell me that I look weird, or that I'm stupid. Yeah. I smile, I laugh, I let you know you're not hurting me. But I have feelings to. I've just been wearing this mask for so long, I don't know how to take it off. Ask me how I am? I'm great, wonderful, I've never been better :D...
What about the people you think you know? The girl that always has a smile on her face, the one who laughs at everyone's jokes. The one you would never see crying. What if she's the one that cries herself to sleep, the one who sits on the bathroom floor crying in silence wishing her life were different. If you looked closely into her eyes you'd see the girl inside crying out for help. But are you listening? What about the girl who's nails are painted black, her eyes heavily covered with black eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara...she's been crying for days, but no one will talk to her because she's different. The girl who wears all those bracelets - she's been through so much. And she has the scars to prove it. The girl with perfectly manicured nails, skinny spidery legs...even the nail polish can't hide the blueish tinge anorexia leaves with all her victims. The freshman who acts like a jerk and a bully to everyone...is also the boy who recently lost a family member....he's also the boy that suffers from depression but is to scared to ask for help. To scared to reach out to anyone because he doesn't know what to expect. He doesn't know if he can trust, and if he does, will he end up getting hurt? The boy who shows up late to class every morning. He seems happy but his eyes are tired, his smile is fake...and those bruises weren't from falling down the stairs. Keep your eyes open. Look around...the people who least look like they're in need of help are really the ones who need it the most.
When I was smaller there was so much I used to believe in. I was sure there is a God. I was sure people went to heaven when they died. I was sure I was going to be a vet when I grew up. And I was sure that no matter what my dad would always be there. But here's the thing. You can't lay out your own life because anything is subject to change. Our lives are already set out for us by a higher being. We have the option to make choices but...there's a certain lack of freedom. Whether you're bound by financial issues, family issues, personal issues or if you're my age, you live under a roof with a mother (said in a loving manner) Point being...I thought I had my life figured out and I KNEW how it was going to go. But I didn't...no one does. No one ever will. You can't just predict the future. You can't plan your life based on what you "think" or want to happen. Life doesn't happen that way.
What about love? Sure, I thought I was a princess and I've been waiting for my "Prince Charming" not really as a love figure. But more as a best friend that I can rely on for anything. I have a lot of close friends. And don't get me wrong. I appreciate them so so much. But...there are some people where you just feel a connection. You feel close to them. You feel so happy you could cry...you would do anything for them. Well I'm still looking for that person. Maybe I just need to get out more, I don't know. Part of me wants to get out and see the world, meet new people. But the other part of me wants to stay home work on my art, practice my music and shut myself alone in my room. Yes. I am happy alone. I like being alone... Most people don't understand why, but I can't answer that for them. I'll put on a happy face and I'll be overjoyed at the time to see my friends. But unfortunately most times I'd rather be home. Dreaming or working. That's another thing about me - I love busy schedules :)I love feeling overwhelmed and the feeling of helplessness I get when I see my busy schedule...I have no idea why. I just do.
As I was saying: Friends. I switched classes so now I have a different group of friends. I thought I would fit in...I thought I would be well accepted. But...I'm just not. I don't know why. I'm the odd ball. I always have been. Sometimes I like it that way, sometimes I wish people would just accept me the way I am, and sometimes I wish people would just treat me normal. I'm not dumb, I'm not unintelligent. When you make fun of me and tell me that I look weird, or that I'm stupid. Yeah. I smile, I laugh, I let you know you're not hurting me. But I have feelings to. I've just been wearing this mask for so long, I don't know how to take it off. Ask me how I am? I'm great, wonderful, I've never been better :D...
What about the people you think you know? The girl that always has a smile on her face, the one who laughs at everyone's jokes. The one you would never see crying. What if she's the one that cries herself to sleep, the one who sits on the bathroom floor crying in silence wishing her life were different. If you looked closely into her eyes you'd see the girl inside crying out for help. But are you listening? What about the girl who's nails are painted black, her eyes heavily covered with black eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara...she's been crying for days, but no one will talk to her because she's different. The girl who wears all those bracelets - she's been through so much. And she has the scars to prove it. The girl with perfectly manicured nails, skinny spidery legs...even the nail polish can't hide the blueish tinge anorexia leaves with all her victims. The freshman who acts like a jerk and a bully to everyone...is also the boy who recently lost a family member....he's also the boy that suffers from depression but is to scared to ask for help. To scared to reach out to anyone because he doesn't know what to expect. He doesn't know if he can trust, and if he does, will he end up getting hurt? The boy who shows up late to class every morning. He seems happy but his eyes are tired, his smile is fake...and those bruises weren't from falling down the stairs. Keep your eyes open. Look around...the people who least look like they're in need of help are really the ones who need it the most.
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