November 12, 2010

SO I just realized we only have one more week until we get a break for thanksgiving! YAY :D The break is only one week long, but at least it's something right? It'll be nice to have some time off to spend with my family, it seems we haven't spent time together for a long while. What are you guys planning on doing with your family/friends for thanksgiving??

Oh, and another thing! It's approaching the time where I've been blogging for a year! I'm not sure what I'll do for that...probably nothing. But it'll be pretty monumental that I've stuck with a journal for...that long. Except for my 6th grade journal that our homeroom teacher made us write..But see nothing was happening at the time, so...There really wasn't anything meaningful in there :p So nothing really important to talk about today. Oh, but there is something really funny that happened yesterday..

So my mom and I were in the grocery store yesterday and we were walking through a kind of thin isle, and my mom knocked over some kind of "display box", which spilled at least 100 spices all over the floor. She looked at me in panic and I just said "Walk away, WALK AWAY"
... unfortunately she dropped her keys at our "crime scene" so..we didn't cover up to well.

November 10, 2010

Hey buddies :) I'm back, hopefully a little more collected then before. I just realized...Life is a whole lot easier when I'm able to get out and forget about everything. It's hard to explain but, if you're a full time mom, busy student, or a dad with a hectic life, I think you'll know what I mean. Most of the time I'm happier when I'm alone or out of the house (all the time, I really do hate being at home). Most people have been telling me that I used to be really bubbly and happy, and totally off the wall, but now I'm just there. First of all "Ghee thanks guys" and second of all. That's something rather hard to explain (again) But it could be worse. A couple of my friends witnessed me crying in the girls bathroom the other day, and I'm so sorry... unfortunately I can't say that's something that doesn't happen on a regular basis. I can go through the whole day with fake smiles and laughs, but...I'm looking forward to the day when I don't have to fake happiness. Because like I said, happiness is a gift, and, right now it's not something I can find. It's true, I do feel selfish, and like a jerk because I'm not mature enough to look around and see I'm already blessed enough to have what I do, I'm not mature enough to see that even though this is happening, I've still got the one thing that matters the most. I've got God. And I've got a family...I wish I had a reason to feel the way I do, then I wouldn't feel bad for it.

Jeremiah 29:11
Thank you so much for the life I have...


I've got a broken heart
I've got a broken smile
Yep, I've been lyin all the while

November 8, 2010

I know I haven't written in a long time, but.. a lot has happened lately. Boy, life sure does have a lot of drama when I'm only 14. School is ok, but it's really hard. Like I said I'm not really fitting in like I thought I would. The materials are also pretty difficult for me, I'm just not understanding what I should. It's really hard to explain. There's just so much for me to say, so much for me to tell, but I feel like I can't tell anyone or let anyone know how I feel. And it's not because I know them really well, or because I'm close to them, it's just because I CAN'T and I mean literally can't tell anyone what I feel. It's like I write them all down and stick them in a box and lock it up. I guess my way of escaping from it all is writing songs, coming up with sayings...

theres so much I want to do, but can't. So much I want to say, but can't, so much I want to happen, but I know never will.