Hey buddies :) I'm back, hopefully a little more collected then before. I just realized...Life is a whole lot easier when I'm able to get out and forget about everything. It's hard to explain but, if you're a full time mom, busy student, or a dad with a hectic life, I think you'll know what I mean. Most of the time I'm happier when I'm alone or out of the house (all the time, I really do hate being at home). Most people have been telling me that I used to be really bubbly and happy, and totally off the wall, but now I'm just there. First of all "Ghee thanks guys" and second of all. That's something rather hard to explain (again) But it could be worse. A couple of my friends witnessed me crying in the girls bathroom the other day, and I'm so sorry... unfortunately I can't say that's something that doesn't happen on a regular basis. I can go through the whole day with fake smiles and laughs, but...I'm looking forward to the day when I don't have to fake happiness. Because like I said, happiness is a gift, and, right now it's not something I can find. It's true, I do feel selfish, and like a jerk because I'm not mature enough to look around and see I'm already blessed enough to have what I do, I'm not mature enough to see that even though this is happening, I've still got the one thing that matters the most. I've got God. And I've got a family...I wish I had a reason to feel the way I do, then I wouldn't feel bad for it.
Jeremiah 29:11
Thank you so much for the life I have...
I've got a broken heart
I've got a broken smile
Yep, I've been lyin all the while
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