January 23

Hey all :) This weekend has been pretty busy! My mom and brother went to Miami Florida and my bro came in 4th all around! IM SO PROUD OF HIM! Heehee! Anyway, I've been here, there and every where, and it;s just been terribly busy! I love it though...I can't stand it when there's nothing to do...I got 12 hours of sleep last night..I can't believe it...I actually slept 12 whole hours! SO yeah. Not much to talk about :) I'm a very boring person right now. And that may be due to the fact that I'm relaxing on the bed sipping my hot coco, listening to Taylor Swift ( I love her :D)

Night!

January 21

...Well...I just got back from visiting my dad...I mean...he's home, he's just not up and about. I don't see him that much now, and I feel really bad about that. I want to go and see him more, because...I really miss him :) Tonight, he and I just cuddled for a couple minutes and had a really nice talk. We talked about boys, (haha, yeah, he knows about my boy situation :D), and he told me how much everyone enjoyed having me around...Everyone tells me that I'm such a wonderful person, and that I'm loved by many people, but...I don't know why they say that! I'm not digging for complements from my readers, or anything like that, but I just don't get it. I guess...it's probably because you know yourself better than any other person, so when I think about all my past mistakes and problems, I just don't feel that great about myself. Well...as my dad said "I've got everyone else fooled!" To which I replied...yeah... except for one person... and if you know me, you know who I'm talking about ;) haha, well in any case...I'm going to be gone from 10:00 to 3:00 tomorrow...when my dad heard that, I could see he was really disappointed. He just put on this sad face and said "you mean...you can't just...stay home tomorrow?" I feel so bad! I wish I could cancel what I'm doing tomorrow, but my mom told me that I need to keep to what I committed myself to...I guess she's right...but still... :)

Goodnight, I love ya'll...please keep my dad and my family in your prayers! (and yes, even my adorable dog Binky ;D)

P.S. - You know what I just realized tonight...I really really want a bird! I just want a parakeet that I can keep in my room (and not let it out anywhere else) and I'll feed it when I come home from school...just something that ishttp://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=7768126731972936451# really small to take care of, that can sit on my finger and listen to me...Sure, I have Binky, and he's and awesome listener! But for some weird reason I want a Bird...I can buy it, and pay for it, because I've been saving up money :)

LOL ok, goodnight now :D

January 20th

Hi all :) Well, first of all, today is inauguration day (the day that President Obama was sworn into office)...I can't believe it's been a whole year since he was inaugurated! Time seems to be flying...7th and 8th grade have gone by so fast...it seems like just yesterday I was sitting in the classroom on the first day of school, loosing my mind because I was so nervous...what was my first day going to be like? Was 8th grade going to be hard? I wonder if these new people will like me...I hope I pass this year...I had a really hard time last year...I don't know where time goes...but I do know that the next weeks with my dad are going to fly by really quickly! He came home today, and right now we have a nurse over at our house trying to give us instructions on how to take care of him, and that kind of thing...tonight I went into his room and watched him sleeping there on his hospital bed...my memories go back to when I was in 5th grade, the summer time, and we didn't even know he had cancer...we didn't know what kind of trials and tribulations were coming up ahead...Looking at my dad standing there, laughing at my brother doing a belly flop into the pool...I never realized...that...sooner than I thought, that man I've looked up to all my life...might not be there fore me one day. These are the kinds of memories I would like to remember my dad by...the kind of memories that no matter what happens...I'll always remember them :) The kind of thing I can look back on when I'm older and say "I was so blessed to have such and awesome guy as my dad..." The kind of thing that makes me proud to go running into his arms and look up into his eyes and say "Daddy...I love you"...to know that no matter what I do...He'll always love me too...

January 18th

Hey =) I'm currently sitting on my watching TV...It's actually quite relaxing, but in any case...My dad's coming home. But, it's not because he's getting better, they said theres nothing else they can do for him...I'm kind of...at a loss right now. I've run out of tears to cry, I've run out of pain to feel...I...I'ts really hard to describe. I'm kind of sad, but, I'm also rather happy. I know my dad will be going home with the Lord soon, and...I can't be mad at that. I can't be angry, sad or depressed with that...He'll be in a better place, he won't suffer anymore. He told me he's tired, and he wants to come home. I can't blame him! I just hope that if and when he goes he won't be in pain...thats my only wish :)

So please pray for my family and other people involved, because this is a hard time for everyone...and...yeah. I'm sorry, right now I'm not the greatest with words right now.

So I guess I'll talk to you later...tomorrow most likely :)

January 17

Hello :) Remember how the other day I said I was angry? Well...during a refreshing walk to the Library yesterday, while having a conversation with myself...I realized...I shouldn't be angry. And here's why - I shouldn't be angry at God because it isn't his fault at all...True, he does let these kinds of things happen to people (yes, even good people) but also, we let this happen to ourselves to! In the Garden...Adam and Eve made the CHOICE to eat the forbidden fruit. Yeah, maybe my dad didn't have the choice to get cancer and end up where he is now, but it's not God's fault, it's not dads fault. It's sins fault...Satins fault. It's in our nature to want to understand something. That goes all the way back to the garden too. Adam and Eve didn't understand everything, and they knew it. So, they thought that by eating the fruit, they could understand everything. They wanted to be just like God, but the truth is, not only can we not take that kind of responsibility, but no one, no, not anyone can be as good as God. Just because we don't understand something doesn't give us the right to resent it. And I think thats why I was angry - because I didn't understand WHY this is happening to my dad...God has a purpose. He's trying to teach us all something...everyone who's involved with this has something to learn. Even me. And...I think I finally have...Don't ever resent something just because you don't understand it. Everything has a purpose...even the bad things in life. So, when you're going through a hard time, don't ask the question "why me" or "what did I do wrong" start thinking about why shouldn't it be me??
Thanks guys, I love ya'll, I love you (my family), and a big thanks to God my Father for being there in my troubles, for leading me through the dark, even when I don't deserve it. :)