E-Journal: The struggles of a teenage girl

I can take a few tears now and then, and just let em out. I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though goin' on with you gone still upsets me. There are days every now again I pretend I'm ok, but that's not what gets me;What hurts the most was being so close, and watching you taken away; never knowing what could've been.It's hard to force that smile when I'm with my friends, but it's still harder gettin' up, getting dressed, livin' without you by my side - Miss you daddy

Saturday, July 16, 2011

July 16, 2011

I'm still living in the past. I'm still tracing my tracks. I'm still angry and maybe a little depressed. Underneath that I know who I actually am, and I WILL NOT change for ANYBODY. I know every lie you've told me. Every time you looked me in the eyes and promised something, and didn't mean it,every minute you spent pretending to be somebody you're not? I don't care. But please...leave me be. I've been broken down to my last bit of strength. I'm tired of all the lies, all the acts, all the insincerity. I just want the truth. I want what's real. I want real love, real people, I want people to be genuine with me. Am I asking to much? I just want one answer. I've been asking this same question for the past year and a half - WHY. Does anybody know. Is anyone listening? WHY have I been left behind. WHY am I being ignored? WHY can't anyone hear my screams for help? God....WHY have you left me?