Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
September 6th 2010
Hey guys! I know I haven't written in forever, but, I've been really busy with school and such. SO. Last night, I thought of something I really want everyone to think hard on. And the way I'll tell this is by telling a story. So here it goes:
Every couple months, I go to get my eyebrows redone. (Girls, you understand this, guys...not so much). Last night, I was staring at myself in the mirror thinking "Wow..I really need to get my eyebrows redone...but, problem is, every time I do that, it doesn't look natural. I wish they would make it look just a LITTLE flawed so that it'd look natural." Then, the thought came to me. Girls wear makeup, like cover up, blush, mascara, eye liner, eye shadow. Tons of makeup. Why? To cover up our flaws. But here's what I want you to think about: Our flaws are EXACTLY what makes us WHO we are. If we all looked like those photo shopped images of girls in magazines, there wouldn't be any individuality, no..realness. Everyone would be fake. And that's not the way God made us at all. He created us to make choices, to make mistakes...to mess up a few times. But overall, we learn a couple things along the way...
So there's a group of girls standing in one part of the gym. They're the popular crowd. The crowd every girl wants to be part of. Why? To be accepted. Well, whats wrong with that you ask? You'd have to change yourself and what you do to be accepted into their little "pack". And what I'm trying to say in this story is not only be who you are, but don't be someone based on what or who you're influenced by, because that just isn't you.
You get what I'm trying to say here? I hope so :) I'm unique, I'm really different. Sometimes I like to dress differently, yes, I love dancing around stores singing random songs, running up to that random girl who's staring at herself in the bathroom mirror and saying "You look gorgeous, don't worry, I promise". Yes, I have 7 different people (imaginary to you, real to me) with different names and personalties that I talk to everyday. I wear different clothes, I wear outfits that totally don't match, I love dancing in the rain. I love playing with sand, and dirt..And I love climbing trees to read books. Yeah, I may seem like a nut case...but at least I'm no average nut case..I'm just a different one :)
Every couple months, I go to get my eyebrows redone. (Girls, you understand this, guys...not so much). Last night, I was staring at myself in the mirror thinking "Wow..I really need to get my eyebrows redone...but, problem is, every time I do that, it doesn't look natural. I wish they would make it look just a LITTLE flawed so that it'd look natural." Then, the thought came to me. Girls wear makeup, like cover up, blush, mascara, eye liner, eye shadow. Tons of makeup. Why? To cover up our flaws. But here's what I want you to think about: Our flaws are EXACTLY what makes us WHO we are. If we all looked like those photo shopped images of girls in magazines, there wouldn't be any individuality, no..realness. Everyone would be fake. And that's not the way God made us at all. He created us to make choices, to make mistakes...to mess up a few times. But overall, we learn a couple things along the way...
So there's a group of girls standing in one part of the gym. They're the popular crowd. The crowd every girl wants to be part of. Why? To be accepted. Well, whats wrong with that you ask? You'd have to change yourself and what you do to be accepted into their little "pack". And what I'm trying to say in this story is not only be who you are, but don't be someone based on what or who you're influenced by, because that just isn't you.
You get what I'm trying to say here? I hope so :) I'm unique, I'm really different. Sometimes I like to dress differently, yes, I love dancing around stores singing random songs, running up to that random girl who's staring at herself in the bathroom mirror and saying "You look gorgeous, don't worry, I promise". Yes, I have 7 different people (imaginary to you, real to me) with different names and personalties that I talk to everyday. I wear different clothes, I wear outfits that totally don't match, I love dancing in the rain. I love playing with sand, and dirt..And I love climbing trees to read books. Yeah, I may seem like a nut case...but at least I'm no average nut case..I'm just a different one :)
Monday, August 16, 2010
August 16th 2010
Well first of all, the house is coming great! I can't unpack anything in my room though, because theres no where to put it :p Ah well. But the floors are in and the bathrooms are finished. Well. almost finished. Just a couple more plumbing issues to take care of. then, we have to get the gas line going to our cook top rewired, other then that, theres almost nothing left. OH! WAIT the painters have to touch ups on some of the walls, cuz some of them got banged up. Not to mention our gutter, which got smashed by a worker. Oh, and the front door, one of the side light windows was totally shattered, so we have to replace the whole front door again! WHICH is BRAND new! It's only 4 weeks old :(. * dramatically* It was so young :'(
My mom bought herself a puppy a couple days ago! it's soooo cute! :D I love him :)) His name is Snickers, and he's adorable.
I'm..I'm just depressed and angry and lost and confused. My life just isn't going that great I guess. Typical teenage line: I feel like no one understands me. And, it's true. Well, at least I want to make myself believe it is..Lately, I've been writing a lot of songs to express the way I feel, but, I don't show them to anybody because..I'm nervous? Afraid of what they'll say? Yup! But, I would like to share one of them with you :)
My Miracle
The tears began on Monday night
I walked through the door of daddys room, oh what a sight
His eyes slowly opened, "Who are you" his voice began
I swallowed hard trying to keep back the tears
I dropped my bag and went to his bed
I opened my mouth and slowly said
"Daddy its me, your little girl"
it hurt so much to see him this way
I held his hand and whispered "I missed you a lot today"
He looked me, the tears in his eyes
"I hope you know I love you very much.."
After a pause he quietly said
"Baby girl, I'm almost there, I can see Gods face"
I sat down and brushed away a curl, I talked to him about my day and such..
He closed his eyes and drifted away
I lifted my face and started to pray
"Daddy don't leave me,
Please don't go,
We still need you, can't you see?"
I let him go, I walked away
I laid down in bed that night hoping for a miracle.
i went to school next day, I could hardly concentrate
Friends crowded 'round, handed me a card and said " Sorry this is so late"
I pushed through the rest of the day eager to get away
I walked into my house, mom rushed to me, she looked as if her heart were broke
"Honey, dear, daddys had a stroke, I don't believe he'll ever wake again
He can hear you, please go and talk to him"
I went in his room, looked at the floor,
I held his hand and said "I love you" once more.
I leaned over, gave him a kiss,
and thought of all the things he'd miss.
Dad I'll miss your smile, your warm embrace
I'll miss those twinkling eyes that shined like the stars above
But most of all, I'll miss the expressions of your love
Daddy don't leave me,
please don't go,
We still need you, can't you see?
I let him go, I walked away
I laid down in bed that night begging for a miracle
Wednesday morning I went to school
I got a call, i walked outside
I took a breath just to say "hello"
"Baby its me, your daddys gone
Don't worry now, I'll take care of you and John"
..I let him go, I walked away,
I prayed for a miracle, and now I know
Even though he had to go
He was my miracle.. everyday
My mom bought herself a puppy a couple days ago! it's soooo cute! :D I love him :)) His name is Snickers, and he's adorable.
I'm..I'm just depressed and angry and lost and confused. My life just isn't going that great I guess. Typical teenage line: I feel like no one understands me. And, it's true. Well, at least I want to make myself believe it is..Lately, I've been writing a lot of songs to express the way I feel, but, I don't show them to anybody because..I'm nervous? Afraid of what they'll say? Yup! But, I would like to share one of them with you :)
My Miracle
The tears began on Monday night
I walked through the door of daddys room, oh what a sight
His eyes slowly opened, "Who are you" his voice began
I swallowed hard trying to keep back the tears
I dropped my bag and went to his bed
I opened my mouth and slowly said
"Daddy its me, your little girl"
it hurt so much to see him this way
I held his hand and whispered "I missed you a lot today"
He looked me, the tears in his eyes
"I hope you know I love you very much.."
After a pause he quietly said
"Baby girl, I'm almost there, I can see Gods face"
I sat down and brushed away a curl, I talked to him about my day and such..
He closed his eyes and drifted away
I lifted my face and started to pray
"Daddy don't leave me,
Please don't go,
We still need you, can't you see?"
I let him go, I walked away
I laid down in bed that night hoping for a miracle.
i went to school next day, I could hardly concentrate
Friends crowded 'round, handed me a card and said " Sorry this is so late"
I pushed through the rest of the day eager to get away
I walked into my house, mom rushed to me, she looked as if her heart were broke
"Honey, dear, daddys had a stroke, I don't believe he'll ever wake again
He can hear you, please go and talk to him"
I went in his room, looked at the floor,
I held his hand and said "I love you" once more.
I leaned over, gave him a kiss,
and thought of all the things he'd miss.
Dad I'll miss your smile, your warm embrace
I'll miss those twinkling eyes that shined like the stars above
But most of all, I'll miss the expressions of your love
Daddy don't leave me,
please don't go,
We still need you, can't you see?
I let him go, I walked away
I laid down in bed that night begging for a miracle
Wednesday morning I went to school
I got a call, i walked outside
I took a breath just to say "hello"
"Baby its me, your daddys gone
Don't worry now, I'll take care of you and John"
..I let him go, I walked away,
I prayed for a miracle, and now I know
Even though he had to go
He was my miracle.. everyday
Monday, August 9, 2010
August 9th 2010
Our house is coming along great! I'm finally starting to make some sense out of all the mess :D As soon as the dust is cleared, and the rubble is out of our driveway, I'll probably invite a few friends over :p. Maybe have a pool part, or something fun like that, what do you think? Mom is getting excited about the house, which I'm really glad to see..she's been so stressed lately with the house, and school starting for her tomorrow. I just wish she had more time to sit down and relax and enjoy any free time! But I guess life as a teacher isn't like that..Oh well, I'll be sure to do something extra special for her over Spring and Christmas break.
Soo..I have a lot of dreams about my childhood, many of them are "visions" not really dreams..those of you that are my really close friends would know about my visions :) Anyhow..last night, I am afraid to admit, I had a complete emotional break down, involving me crying for 45 minutes, and talking to a picture of my dad..i guess the worst part is that three or four years ago, I never would have suspected my life being like this. I just wish I had treasured the time that I had with my dad..instead of going out all the time, and being everywhere BUT where my dad was. I just really miss him..I don't know how else to get that out of my system other then telling it here..Please forgive me.
Soo..I have a lot of dreams about my childhood, many of them are "visions" not really dreams..those of you that are my really close friends would know about my visions :) Anyhow..last night, I am afraid to admit, I had a complete emotional break down, involving me crying for 45 minutes, and talking to a picture of my dad..i guess the worst part is that three or four years ago, I never would have suspected my life being like this. I just wish I had treasured the time that I had with my dad..instead of going out all the time, and being everywhere BUT where my dad was. I just really miss him..I don't know how else to get that out of my system other then telling it here..Please forgive me.
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