Hey..can't sleep again. *sigh* Ohh well. Lately I've had a lot of questions. Not about anything "normal" or "regular". Just questions about me I guess. Like why am I so against talking to people about how I feel? Or why can't I open up to my own family? There's just..a lot out there that I have to say but it would take HOURS to try to explain it to everyone. Or anyone for that matter. And I do believe I'm going crazy for real :p Either that or I'm bipolar. Maybe multiple personality disorder? Or am I just two faced...oh. Got it. I'm just a really good actress.
One of my closest friends told me I've changed a lot. And I know I have..I just didn't want to admit it. Like the fact I don't tell anyone anything anymore. If I'm hurting, I won't tell you. I talk in riddles. I don't make everything crystal clear anymore. The only the that's almost the same: I almost always smile. But how many people realize I'm not really smiling?
The same friend asked me why I like wearing waterproof makeup all the time. I looked her in the eyes and thought to myself "Good. It's working"
But see..I would never tell her that. I wouldn't know how, and I wouldn't want her worrying about me. The other day I was in the girls bathroom at school and I had been crying (before school started) and she came in and saw me. MOST embarrassing moment of my life. Really. I promised 3 years ago that I would NEVER cry in front of my friends. Why? Because how can I encourage them to be strong if I can't? How can I be the shoulder to cry on if I'm crying to? I just..I don't know. Crying isn't really my "thing" anyway so. Yeah :) Hopefully she's forgotten about the whole thing :p
No comments:
Post a Comment
b, i, a